Procrastinating?

Coffee and a plan

Lately it has been late afternoon before I get around to drinking my first cup of coffee. I drink a fancy coffee, latte usually, made with beans I buy from a local roaster who treats each ½# bag as if it were her magnum opus. I have treasured coffee mugs, the perfect size and shape, created by a friend who has made it her life’s work to fill the world with beauty. I make my coffee in a machine my mother-in-law bought me after my daughter was born, because “new mums need good coffee.” (Yes, she says “mums”!) Everything about my daily coffee brings me joy. 

Is it procrastinating if you put off something you really want to do? I have a habit of always wanting to get the hard/unpleasant stuff done first and saving the best for last. This means doing laundry before making a coffee. Prepping dinner before watering plants. Vacuuming before sketching. As a result I often find my plants are wilted and dry and the garden design I promised someone is weeks late and I have to buy decaf coffee beans or stay up half the night. And you don’t even want to ask about that chocolate I’ve been saving, for years!

I am trying to get my head around this problem and how to address it. There are plenty of articles and self-help gurus who can tell me how to stop procrastinating. And there’s a lot of noise out there about self-care. But I think this problem falls somewhere in between the two, and a sensible solution eludes me. How do I carve out time for the important projects and tasks that I enjoy doing? 

Finding a solution is increasingly important as I begin planning (or not planning!) for the upcoming growing season. I have renewed my garden books from the library twice now, and except for a brief burst of uncontrolled indulgence when I first picked them up, I haven’t cracked the covers. That initial peek confirmed that they hold the information I want in order to plan the upcoming season’s flower business, but I am spending my time organizing spreadsheets for taxes, cleaning out files, dusting (dusting! why?!) instead of starting on this project I know will both bring me joy and benefit my business. 

Now, I’m going to make a coffee…

Maybe in the middle of the night tonight I will start the planning.